My Girlfriend is Pregnant. What do I do? (Tips for Guys)
When she finds out she’s pregnant, how do you respond? Find our guide below for your next steps.
An unplanned pregnancy is one of the biggest life-changing events a guy might experience.
Even though it happens every day, when it happens to you- it’s real, and it might bring a lot of confusing thoughts and emotions to the surface.
Depending on how you handle the news, it will affect your relationship for the better OR worse.
At the Pregnancy Resource Center, we meet with men in every stage of life who are hearing the words, “We’re pregnant” for the first time.
If this is you and you need to know what’s next – read on for some helpful tips that can give you confidence to move forward.
Pregnancy and Relationships
Get a confidential appointment to find out if you’re pregnant and learn more about healthy relationships.
This post medically reviewed by on-staff nurse, Tomi Matlock, RN.
Note: The information on this website is intended for general education purposes only and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional medical advice.
“I think my girlfriend is pregnant.”
If you just searched that phrase, looking for advice, you’re in the right place.
But first things first.
Do you know for sure she’s pregnant, or do you just suspect she’s pregnant? It’s important to get the facts first.
Confirming the Pregnancy (know for sure)
Has she taken a home pregnancy test yet?
If not, she can contact us for a free pregnancy test in our office (or find a pregnancy center near you).
Even after a positive pregnancy test, an ultrasound is the most accurate way to medically confirm a pregnancy.
We can provide that, too.
What to do if your girlfriend is pregnant
Once you know she’s pregnant, you can face the reality before you. You can start by giving her the reassurance that you are here for her.
She needs to know you’re ready to support her and share in the responsibility of raising your child together.
Of course, this is ideal for children: to grow up in a stable, loving home.
But even if the circumstances are NOT ideal, you can still make positive choices, together.
You can still work towards the goals and dreams you had before the pregnancy – it might just look a little different or take a little longer to get there (and that’s ok).
Below are are some common fears that we hear from men, and some possible solutions.
“My girlfriend is pregnant and I have no money.”
We hear you.
The truth is, having a baby will cost money, but there are places that can help with these costs.
Your girlfriend can apply for services like Medicaid which may cover all or most of her medical bills during and after pregnancy.
Federally qualified health centers also provide low-cost or no-cost care for pregnant women.
Keep in mind, if you’ve just found out you’re expecting, you have several months to form a plan to financially provide for your girlfriend and your baby.
There are many community agencies we can connect you with to address your specific needs, including:
- Job training and placement
- Housing
- Food and utilities
- Adoption agencies (if requested)
“My girlfriend is pregnant and I feel trapped.”
If your relationship was not in a healthy state before the pregnancy, this is understandable.
But it’s also true that pregnancy is always a potential result of having sex (even on birth control).
You still have an obligation to do what you can to support her and your child, no matter what happens in your relationship.
Having open communication with your girlfriend about your feelings is a really good place to start.
She probably has her own fears. Talking about these concerns and being there for each other is more important than ever.
If you have a support system such as close family or even friends in healthy relationships, this is a good time to reach out.
“My girlfriend is pregnant and I’m not ready.”
You’re not ready, but there are many things you can do to get there.
In truth, no one is ever really ready to be a parent! That’s why we provide classes for both moms and dads to prepare for pregnancy, childbirth and parenting.
You don’t have to know everything. Spoiler alert: No parents ever will!
But knowledge builds confidence. With the right information and hard work – you can do this.
About abortion
Sometimes with clients we see, it’s the guy who pushes his girlfriend to have an abortion because of all the reasons listed above.
Sometimes it’s the woman who wants the abortion and the guy really doesn’t want that to happen.
In our view, abortion is never a good option because it ends an innocent life.
Coercing your girlfriend to have an abortion is illegal, and taking this stance will likely end your relationship in time.
We also discourage abortion because of the emotional trauma it is known to cause for many women AND men, long-term.
If either of you are considering abortion, and want more information (including the risks), please reach out to us first.
Chat with the nurse on this screen and get good information to guide your decision.
Need Support?
Contact the Pregnancy Resource Center to find out how we can help support you during your pregnancy.
Encouragement for guys when your girlfriend is pregnant
If you’ve read this far, you’re probably really taking this pregnancy seriously.
This shows you care about being responsible and doing what is best for your girlfriend and your baby.
We believe that you, as a man, have the ability to be a loving leader for your family.
You can learn the skills you need, get the support you need and be the best dad you can be.
This could be a critical point in your life that you both will remember forever. Your reaction to your girlfriend’s unplanned pregnancy can make or break your relationship, and your future relationship with your child.
At the Pregnancy Resource Center, we’re here to cheer you on and support you as you support her.
Contact us any time or find a pregnancy help center near you.
Read next:
Dads During Pregnancy: How to be Involved from the Start
How Unplanned Pregnancy Affects Relationships
Torn Between Abortion and Keeping the Baby: How to Decide
