Unwanted Pregnancy: What To Do When You’re Pregnant and Don’t Want the Baby
In this post, we’ll walk through all the options for unwanted pregnancy – and help you picture the future after each decision.
If you’ve made your way to this page, you might be staring at a positive pregnancy test right now in disbelief.
Is this really happening?
Pregnancy was NOT in your plans, and the thought of being pregnant brings up all kinds of worries and fears.
Here at the Pregnancy Resource Center, we understand those overwhelming feelings that can surface.
We’ve seen it happen with our clients so many times through the years.
But, you’re in luck: addressing unwanted pregnancy is our specialty. And we’re here to help you consider your next steps – and what each decision could mean for your future.
Pregnancy options overwhelming?
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Note: The information on this website is intended for general education purposes only and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional medical advice.
Unwanted Pregnancy Emotions: “I’m pregnant and don’t want to be”
First of all, it’s good to realize that those initial emotions of fear, anxiety and sadness may only last for a short time.
Surging hormones during pregnancy can mean that what you feel right now can change quickly.
So, keep that in mind as you decide.
And even if you’ve had weeks to think about your pregnancy and are still certain you don’t want to keep the baby – that’s ok.
We’ll go over your available choices and help you think through what those choices will look like beyond this moment in time.
Option #1: Abortion
Talk about abortion is common these days, especially on social media.
Clinics that offer the abortion pill or surgical abortion make it sound like a simple, no-fuss procedure that will make the problem of unwanted pregnancy vanish into thin air.
It’ll be like it never happened, they promise.
The important thing to know is:
- Abortion is more than a procedure
- It’s not always simple
- And it’s definitely not pain-free.
In fact, we’ve talked to many women through the years who described their abortion experience as excruciating, traumatizing, and even expressed great regret over their decision to abort.
Some women experience difficulty with future pregnancies and suffer from depression due to past abortions.
So, it’s important to get accurate information before scheduling an abortion.
We also recommend you take a look at these posts:
What are the possible complications after abortion?
What to know about at-home abortions with the abortion pill
Ultrasound before abortion: Why it matters
Feeling sad after abortion: Reasons and resources to help
Note: We don’t profit anything from your pregnancy decisions.
Your health (including your future physical and mental health) and safety are what matters most.
Option #2: Adoption
Adoption often gets a bad rap – it’s true.
So much incorrect information has surrounded adoption for decades.
But the tide is turning and more women are becoming educated on adoption than ever before.
There are different types of adoption available to you, depending on your needs and desires.
This includes open, semi-open and closed adoptions. These terms have to do with the level of communication you want to have with your baby and the adoptive parents.
(Find more about the types of adoption here.)
You don’t have to decide now
When you FIRST find out about an unwanted pregnancy, you might not be ready to think about all of these details yet.
But you have plenty of time to sort through your feelings about adoption, by working with a trustworthy adoption agency (on your own timetable).
If you decide to reach out to your local pregnancy center first (like us!), we can help you find an adoption counselor you feel comfortable with.
The choice to reach out to an adoption agency is always up to you.
Even if you decide to find out information about adoption now, this doesn’t mean you have to commit to that path.
Find more on adoption:
What to know about modern adoption (with local agency info)
What’s the difference between open and closed adoption?
Adoption Stories: 4 unique stories with FAQ
Other options: When you’re pregnant and don’t want the baby
As feelings can swing wildly during pregnancy, it’s no surprise that many women change their minds about their unwanted pregnancy.
Many decide to keep their pregnancy and are happy with that decision in the end.
One client who initially visited our office was sure that abortion was the only solution for her unwanted pregnancy.
However, here’s the message she sent us a few weeks after her appointment, when she had a chance to look at all her options:
“I actually had my first prenatal visit today. Thanks for being my ears…I think I’m going to continue the pregnancy. Thanks again for the support!”
Some of the women who come into the Pregnancy Resource Center (like the one above), benefit from just having a safe space to talk through all the factors that might be influencing how they feel about their pregnancy.
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Once they have that space to process, they often realize they really do have more options than just abortion, including:
- Parenting with the baby’s father (in a healthy relationship)
- Parenting alone or co-parenting
- Parenting with the help of relatives
- Parenting with the help of friends
- Private adoption
- Adoption through an agency
These are several of the paths forward that our clients choose during pregnancy.
Sometimes just having someone to listen to your concerns and offer real solutions can make a world of difference, not just in this moment but into the future.
If you’re ready to talk about an unwanted pregnancy, please reach out!
You can chat with a nurse on this screen just to talk, or to schedule an appointment with us.
Read next:
Most Common Reasons Women Keep an Unwanted Pregnancy
How to Talk to the Father of Your Baby about Your Pregnancy
My Girlfriend is Pregnant: Tips for Guys
How effective are Emergency Contraceptives?
Is Ordering the Abortion Pill Safe?
